Hi, I'm Derek... I'm a Christian... And a hypocrite.

 
So, I got an email this morning from Steve Taylor, the director of the likewise titled film adaptation of the book "Blue Like Jazz" by Donald Miller. The email outlined some of the criticism of the new movie. Apparently some christians are upset because the movie doesn't paint Christianity in a beautiful rosy light. He then pointed out that this method of making Christians out to be perfect just makes us look like we don't realize that we're screwed up. I'm inclined to agree with him.

I remember reading "Blue Like Jazz" for the first time a few years ago. There is one scene in the book that will forever stand out in my mind and it's also the one that Taylor points to as the reason he decided to make the movie. The scene takes place on the campus of Reed College in Portland, a traditionally very liberal campus that isn't super friendly to Christianity. Miller devises the plan to setup a confessional booth on the campus where he wouldn't receive confessions, but would confess the sins of the church to those who ventured into the booth. When I read this my eyes welled with tears. I saw all the people who have been hurt by the church over it's history. I saw every white preacher of the south arguing for slavery with the Bible. I saw Hitler justifying genocide with the Bible. I saw every politician who has used faith for personal gain. I saw everyone who has ever used the Bible to hurt anyone! Then I saw myself with the Bible, trying to make myself look presentable, and like a good christian. First I felt hate and resent for those who distorted the truth of scripture. Then I saw how similar we were. I saw myself there with all my sin and saw that I was connected to all these people. Connected by a condition called Sin. A condition we all inherit at birth. A condition that separates us from God and from the way we were meant to live.

It was in this reflection that I found connection with Don in the story. We both realized our brokenness and found connection with our fellow man. It became no longer about putting on a facade that looks nice. It became all about living in the midst of our brokenness and not being afraid to mess up or afraid to let others see those mess ups.

That being said, I still fight the urge to appear better and more spiritual than I am. The truth is that I stand in the company of many honest saints when I stand up and say that I'm a Christian and a hypocrite. Those on the outside of Christianity have been saying it since the beginning and I'm done trying to make them think otherwise. They're right. I am a sinner, but I'm also a saint. the only difference between myself and "non-christians" is that I have given my life to the journey of becoming more saint than sinner, to then ultimately become all saint forever.

I'm really glad that Steve's email could help me revisit all those original feelings that came with reading the book. I am more than a little bit excited to see the movie. I've followed the process pretty closely and look forward to seeing some decent christian art!

love.
-D